Finding Truth Beyond the Lies

Years ago, I found myself struggling with guilt and shame. I had listened to Satan far too long, telling me that I was too damaged. He said to me that God wouldn’t love me and that He would never use me again for His Kingdom. He also told me that the relationship that I once had with God would never be the same, and the best I could hope for was to be allowed to sit on the back pew of the church. I had prayed over and over for forgiveness and even prayed that God would remove the shame that seemed to haunt me. After praying, I always opened my eyes to the same old feelings. I felt trapped in a bottomless pit with no way of escape.

I told no one about the deep wounds of my soul that I tried my best to bandage on my own. I did everything I could think of to stop the hemorrhaging. I read my Bible daily, and it seemed like I prayed always. I even started to believe the lie that God didn’t hear my prayers or that He was hearing them but wouldn’t answer them because He didn’t love me anymore. I also started believing that I had fallen too far from grace to ever have a one on one relationship with Him again. 

And then it happened.

A friend told me about a book entitled, Your Scars Are Beautiful To God: Finding Peace And Purpose In The Hurts of Your Past by Sharon Jaynes. I thought the title was catchy but didn’t go into the reading with much hope. See, I had already bought into the lies of the Enemy, so in my eyes, there was no hope. I had already taken my place on the back pew and had become quite comfortable when I read a particular passage of this book. The author told the story in John 9 where Jesus came upon a blind man sitting by the edge of the road. Jesus spat on the ground and made clay and rubbed it on the blind man’s eyes. He then told him to go wash at the Pool of Siloam.

Upon doing so, the man received his sight. I then read the phrases that would break the lies that Satan had me believing. “It was not the dirt that held the miraculous powers. It never is. It was what Jesus did with the dirt that transformed it into a healing balm.” You see, Satan had been using the dirt of my past to hold me hostage to guilt and shame. But now I had a choice. I could continue to listen and believe that God could never use me again, or I could get off that back pew and let God use the dirt of my past. If I allowed Him to use the dirt of my past, it would bring healing to not only me but others that felt they had gone too far from His grace ever to be used again. Of course, I choose the latter. I allowed God to use my dirt to bring healing in my life. I have since allowed Him to use it to bring healing to others by sharing my testimony.

Have you been listening to the lies of the Enemy? I pray that you find healing and that you realize just how much God truly loves you! Whether your “dirt” is sin related or if your “dirt” is just pain from different events in your life, God can use your testimony to bring healing to not only you but to others. I hope that you will let God use your testimony for His glory instead of allowing Satan to use it for his. Satan has used your pain long enough to bring destruction to you and those around you. Now let God use it to bring you healing!